#IM STUPID !!!!!! I CANT DO THSI SHIT
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started mother 3 . real good so far but the battles r kinda driving me crazy w the rhythm game thing
#IM STUPID !!!!!! I CANT DO THSI SHIT#i dont really play rhythm games the only other thing ive played is the fucking. rhythm heaven tutorial level at my friends house#multiple times. ive never beaten it. IM SO BAD ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY#i dont even get what ur supposed to be timed to or whatever in battles tho like#i keep putting enemies to sleep and trying to do it to the heartbeat thing but it doesnt ?? do anythint ???#the stupid thing that tells u abt the rhythm battles in game says you can get by without doing it but i kinda doubt that#likeā¦. thats half the whole battle gimmick youd imagine the game is balanced around it being utilized#also im judt absolutely getting my ass kicked rn i never got any game overs until i got to the castle#i forgot how to spell the name sorry#uh anyways i died like 7 times . sigh#still havent gotten thru all of it but whatever ill figure it out eventually#i needed to take a break anyways#its kinda bumming me out how much trouble im having w this but ive only played for like 3 hours its a whole game ill probably get better#as the game continues ??? idk#inquisitivewaltz.txt#characters and whatnot r very fun so far but again im only 3 hrs in so not much has happened i didnt already know abt XD
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šØ
#WHATTA HELL#im watching sentinel again yea yea#'what good does it do to have ears that hear a thousand miles if you cant listen to the whispers of your heart?'#RIGHT AFTER HIM AND BLAIR FIGHT????? girl what the hell#theyre trying to kill theyre trying to make me die#also its so funny the first jim/blair conflict is on the fucking. nineties ass copaganda ass anti-strike episode im fshsjdjdj#also THIRD SEASON. and theyre fighting for the first time thats so funny#like okay lovebirds#i was reading the wiki yesterday & first off it aired in finland as 'vartija' and it was so endearing i almost rolled off my bed on acciden#and second off they cancelled it after 3 seasons?????? and fans brought it back for EIGHT more episodes???????#thats so based never stop fighting fujoshis#im almost on the famed s3-s4 two parter and im having so much fun#on one hand its so embarrassing to care so much about stupid shit like this but#on the other im so blessed to get so happy from stupid shit like this#my post#FSHSH first the bad guy gets bit by an alligator and then jim punches him and the punch CLEARLY DOESNT EVEN HIT but they kept it in anyway#im gonna cryyy thsi series is so funny#youre obsessed with that shitty old unobtainable flop tv series. its like your jungkook#why dont you guys ever like my posts about stuff nobody knows about or gives a shit about
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CHARLIE š¹
Big shout out to @tekitothemagpie and all the stainmight fans for cheering me on and motivating me. I love all of you very much so consider this animation a big thank you gift for y'all (ā ā§ā ā½ā ā¦ā )
HAPPY HALLOWEEN šš»š¬
#AHSUSOSORIA STOP OH MY GOSHSHSHWBSHEKW#THE FRAMES WERE SO FUNNT THE ONES U SENT BUT THE FINISHED PRODUCT IS KILLLLLLING MEEE#LOOK AT TSUKAUCHIS FACE IM ABSOLUTELY DYING#HES SO FUCNING SMUG THAT ASSHOLE ššš#STAIN BEING GENUINELY MAD HIS FACES KILL ME TOO#GOING FROM BIENG SHOOK FROM CONFUSED TO MAD SLOWLYUEK3ISE#ā:) TRICK OR TREAT? >:}ā#SHAHHSJAJD THAT FUCKING FRAME THE SILENCE BEFORE IT#TSUKAUCHI BEING AGGRESSIVE TOO EHEHHE āto make me loOK STUPIDā#IM CACKLING THE MORE I REWATCH THE BETTER IT GETS#STAIN EYEING TUSKAUCHI UP AND DOWN EHEJSJSUEJOSF THEIR EXPRESSIONS ATE SO REALLL#tsukauchi genuinely explaining shit to stain gosh. THEIR FACES#the background is so fucking beautiful *eats it*#TOSHI IS HERE TOO???? AND THEY MATVH? THEY MATCH THE SKELETONS THINGY THE THING U ME AND LOADING TALKED ABO- *kneels over and dies*#ouch my ooor heart literally cant do thsi#THABK GOSH HE IS OR THEY WOULDVE FOUGHT EHEHUEKA HELPPP#THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL HOW COULD U EVEN DOUBT THE PERFECTNESS OF THIS VIDEO CHARLIE LIKE EVER I CANT STOP WATCHING IT#how doni save a video on tumblr....#FUCK I LOVE THIS#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#animation#happy halloween#toshinori yagi#all might#naomasa tsukauchi#akaguro chizome#stain mha#stainmight#stainmight but tsukauchi is third wheeling them
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hi my loves šŖ im sorry for not updating this week and last week as well.. this may happen until the end of juneš i havent found the time to js sit down and write these reqs but i do have some drafts so yay !!! ive had the biggest writers block since like man idk the julie fic ig? but anyways prepare for a more consistent update schedule like before when i first started out !! oh and thank you so much for all the support on in for it and call over your homegirls !! iāve actually really enjoyed writing for this lil series and it makes me giggle (my sense of humor is rlly bad.) anyway.. i wanted to know if i should turn it into something liek idk bigger.. and stuff .. yknow ! ill still write reqs but then have like chaewon whining in a different fic
di that maker sense idk m tired and i mids nabi and jwannie boo
COME BACK HUYS I CANT DO THSI SHIT ALONE
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Hi bae this is š§ idk if you still rmb me im just rlly busy rn LMFAO but can i just say i will gladly match ur freakā¦.. I am number one challengers fan (mike faist and zendaya i love u) and altho i dont dabble into the yaoi shit (maybe like ever idk. Sorry) i may have watched art n patrick make out a lil too much lol oopsies!
Anyways imo i truly think u should write what u want! Limiting yourself to what your followers/what u think your followers want isšš¼ cuz honestly from experience it just prevents u from getting ur creative juices flowingā¦.yk idk what the fuk im talkin but ya :D tldr just write what u want!! Am 100% looking forward to whatever fic youāre brewing SOON i am eagerly waiting at the dining table for the domoriu fic meal i bet itās scrumptious.
Also tangent but thanks to that stupid blonde angelface art donaldson my type in men (or lack thereof) changed drastically cuz like i always like the feminine(?) gentle looking male idols ifygwim LOL. Like i LOVE RIWOO just because of thsi heās just sooo my type even tho heās a little shortie but its ok inm not even 160 so i cant even say much. Riwoo girl agenda indeed cuz fuck men but also fuck menā¦.. just one singular 170cm tall pretty manā¦.. anyways i hope u had a good day/start of the week!! I rlly need to lock in for school lmfao im tryign not to freak
hi lovely yes i do remember you!! i love challengers sm like that movie changed my life šāāļø i literally watched challengers solely bc zendaya is in it and i wanted to see the men kiss š and donāt even worry about not dabbling in yaoi its not for everyoneā¦ i used to like it then i like hated it (??) for a while but i fw it again āš½ i read more yuri tho cuz go lesbians
and yes i try not to limit myself toooo much cuz at the end of the day, its my page and i can do what i want šāāļø but some stuff i tend to keep to myself cuz i dont wanna be perceived LOLL
and yes i love riwoo sm my type when i have a bias is usually the really cute one/feminine looking one and riwoo just gives like. girl to me and as a girl kisser that is EXACTLY what im looking for āš½ and unfortunately im 5ā2 (157cm) so EVERYONE is fucking taller than me šššbut i like to pretend in my head that riwoo is actually shorter than me my little short king
and tysm !! i hope you have a a good day and a good week all together as well š
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whilst i cannot sleep
is anyonegetting angry and upset in their own head is anyone feelign hateful is anyone going nuts knowing it never gets anywhere that it never means anythingi keepgetitng really. really fucking angry. walk around try not to be sick fucking calm down breathe br normaallll!!!! and upset thinking abt how fucking stupid it is that i keep getitng angry andupset. when ive been trying actively not to care about it because caring doesnt mattereither and nothing matters but i cant fucking shake it. gorgeous spiral because it jsut fucking goes round in circles and it never stops and i feel like half this shit its like peopelwont even remember any more but i cant ever fucking get it out of my head and i wishthere was some fucking closurebut i dont fucking ever move i keep trying to fucking push shit forward dbutr im always jsut fucking stuck. everyone just fucking leaves and goesd on like it never happened or mattered. and idontknow whyi everjust sit there and theres this niggling fucking . ache forsoemthing just some fucking acknowledgement . like i dont want apologies i dont fucking care i dont think its even due just fucking realise i existed just for a second pleaseand my head was jsut .slightly fucked up by thsi but i feel selfish and stupid and childish and its just a fucking pipedreamgod help me but no . imstill fucking stuck as i always am and i cant get out andit doesnt fucking matter how hard i try im alwya sjust never doing enough for anything.igenuinely do fucking try to move on try to fucking do somethingelse and i jsut fucking cant fucking get anywhetre and if eel so so fucking . stupid and theresnothing there but the hollow fucking tauntssaying its going to be okay one day! and then the prompt walking away from your fucking corpse haha ! when theres nothing in sight and i its stupid fucking horseshit selectiverly designed todrvie you so, so fucking angry but youre not allowed to fucking say anything without being the cunt yourenot allowed to react you have to fucking swallow it fucking perform for people who do not fucking care or respect you truly like HAHA. YOURE DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! IF YOU SAY YOURE OKAY FOR ME! YOU WILL THEN BE OKAY! NOW SAY IT! some fuckingsong and dance to make them feel betterdespite youre . fucking . insane and even if you didnt exist this would have no fucking bearing on them whatsoever but oh sure fucking fine fuck OFF do you ever fucking think aboit that i wish i could be fucking miserable for fucking once because i cant ufcking do anyhting else i really fucking cant and i wish someonewould just fucking let me be for fucking once i feel so so so fucking alone i jsut . befrore i finsihmyself off i dont know. . i keep triyng and i wish justr something could get some sort of fucking resolution for once or some fucking release or end but i jsut feel like i cant ask for anything i feel fucking crazy man i feel fucking crazy all the fucking time i feel like imgetitng my shit yanked back and forth . something smehying its never fucking worth being alive i keep sitting there and praying for it to matter to fucking have meant something but i cant fidn a fucking point to any of it im so so fucking sick of it im sick of exisitign but i sut. wahh wahh wahh or whatever i wish i couldfeel happy i wish i could feel loved or just feel liek ive done something okay jsut for fucking ocne before i die idont think im ever going to get there i cant i just keep criyng about all the meaningles nothinhs that keep coming in droves but are just more fucking shortcomins and disappointments and FUCKKKK MY LIFESS<333333
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šŖ KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?
š SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?
š SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?
š HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?
for all your OCs <3
šŖ
ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy
Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed
Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse
Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self
Wes- drinks. a lot.
š
oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much
Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is
Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.
Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.
Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off
š
Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon
Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch
Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED
wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs
š
Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.
Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her
Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )
Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit
okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(
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venting more cuz im sick asf of being the way i am lolz . Every trigger warning ever probably
Its like soooo hard for me to describe how bad thsi shit makes me feĆØl like i KNOW i can do it i CAN DO SCHOOLWORK i just feel like im mega lazy and not putting in enough effort so i always feel like i need to hurt myself so so much to feel like my struggle is like worth it. Like i keep fantasizing abt hurting myself realllll bad but its like okaayyy it wont like. fix anything? Youll still have to do it?? So like get a grip and just do it. But i on god feel like i cant? I cant? I feel like i cant??? I feel like i need so much help but i cant keep asking for help all the timr bc i need to vocaalize my own thoughts bc thats how the real world works how am i meant to get a job if i cant express my ideas. How have i become so degenerated in my creative ideas over the past 4 years. My god. Probably got to do with not having had a psychologist for 2 years and only seeinf my psychiatrist once in a blue moon (ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE IVE SEEN THE FUCKER SOON) and my dad died but im over it now. Idk why im so depressed. Why am i so fucking pathetic man. Like get a grip. Literally. Makes me wanna kms how saamatu i am. I constantly fantasize abt hurting mydelf so bad just to show how much im hurting (eewwww i sound so emo) but again. Wont fix anything. And id hide it anyway. But by god i want to. So bad. Everybody has it hard and im not special so i need to suck it up and do it. I cant do this school shit. I also probably cant do a job. Nor anything. I rly should just kill myself unless i wanna become a 30 year old basememnt dweller who still lives with her mom. I neeeeeeed to kill myself theres nothing out there for me. Not skinny enough not smart enough not skilled enough im just mid. Id rather work at rimi but by god i want to be something and not just some random person. But thats a skill issue. The worst part is tjat i believe i can be someone that actually matters. I need to kill myselfffffff. Anyway fucking. Goodnight its too late ill do those stupid moodboards and personas tomorrow when i dont want to kill myself over school (mission impossible)
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Guns N' Roses - Paradise City (Official Music Video)
and we are apologetic no. ruined our own plan so what it was is ours to r uin.Ā and now we see it. we are ruining it so what we do it on purpose andĀ you dopes dont know our power and helaughs and says it we combined them he grabbed us after.Ā we nabbed them not after the to the bone was befoer it and wnet to the grve wiht our secrets and progrms and their computer took it lightly no uses it damnti ok makes sense but we tried ahahahhhhahahhhhahhhh oh boy wht if you dont try sit and live damnit yoiu fucking idiot lol.Ā not ufun true thouhg
sarh
we re delusional and cnt stop we needed help this might
trump
hahh wont help you.Ā you might hv some peace. but no.Ā they seek you now.Ā and with a pull you wont believeĀ tht it isi for thsi.Ā and y eh y ou re fuk ups
Zues Hera
the math is right he is right we get you trump you bozo shit your dumb
mac daddy
fun night and now this wow we hit you you faggot shithead your out now
ben arnold
and no embeds so yor..annd hahahh you faggot joel and this blwos weĀ are nohting and habe been fn sucks samnit
and we were near the spheres ok this blows.
joel watts
whch way is it the way we say and we said it and they hit ok dumb
sarahĀ
so you live after they shoot y8ou i see that is why you live
Zues Hera a loop hahha lol
no no you wnot make fun of us and ok tons do now andĀ i made a hogpodg and it workd but thi guy said im doomed and i sought daves.Ā no heard it. lost it could not get it and found it no missed and he says oh oh yeh oh yeh and ok we are dead he is happy and no kidding we are doomed
trump
you re we pull shortly nd tommy f too and hit yours.Ā wesee why.
mac daddy
He continues it and the stuff doesn't work and he keeps saying it works people keep hitting him and he won't shut up and here it is the math he had taken over by Dave's stuff and he won't admit it and he had taken over by Dave's stuff and he won't admit it and he didn't admit it and the stuff is just what other people have he's stupid and he keeps telling on himself and Dave's computers are getting dest and Dave's computers are getting destroyed it is up on Saturn so we watch this guy in space and he was at those spheres. But he couldn't get out them just like everyone else. So we're wondering what the hell he's talking about. He does have a story and he's been telling it lately
Thor Freya
we lit it up the compuer and held jc and mary on the ships and ours were there at the dig.Ā and went in and seabotaged it. nd it was not so big bout ttwo hundred miles and ok how long did it take and so yoou disabled it.Ā no. took it over wihtĀ virus.Ā homeade copy.Ā ahhah had the pieces. damnit.Ā true too.Ā and ok he says rigged it.Ā and the computer does it day and night.Ā but heck with what he says you knowfor old ties sake...and with c4 and tons of it.Ā and inert mostly unless you hit thedeetontor and true a ton all over it.Ā ....and then....we left and said one fals move to disarm. it goes.Ā and you left it rigged and cant see it. nope.Ā so there.. tht is what we did
trump
and so what no. w e see him. and you dont trump. hehehe.Ā you use him as the computer your shit ok.Ā now we know wht he says and in mmments it is disbled all your crp and how did you get onbord and ok.Ā then your there with what it wnted so where is jc and mary.Ā we saw you exumed her sister
bill preston this needed to come out we knew no
oh no
mac
Olympuos
out now Thor freya Hera alll list attched
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i love having abandonment issues due to childhood trauma that is now coming back to fuck me over
#personal#like fam im about to start isolating myself again i stg -_-#i luv that when im afraid someones gonna abandon me i get frantic and do anything to get them to stay#i luv that ppl say oh im not gonna leave u!! and then they see my bpd act up and say o_o and dip#im gods fucking punching bad he uses me to see how much torture he can put me thru until i snap and kms -_-#fucker#suck my dick tbh#im god now fucker#im manic rn if you cant tell#im gonna DESTORY the planet and all the scum on thsi planet too mcuh evil sinners#all the good ppl can stay also cats too i love cats#dont mind me im just venting im not gonna do anyhting but sleep and talk to my friends bc i love them#i need to get on a mood stabilizer om gonna end up killing myself huh -_-#fuck i know im unstablr i know i need help im not stupid im not in denial#my mood seings are so bad theyr e probabky gons end up hospitalizatng me legit if rhey do i will SNAP#i dont nesd to be hospital... i need comfort#fuckers don care abut me there shit like just be happy and positive ^_^ legit choke#be hapoy!! illbe happy when u die in front of me -_-#sorey im angry#ive ben treated like shit and it shows huh#imagine not bejnf traumatized cant realte fam kinda cringe bro#i dont even CARE like i dont evn care
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!
#sorry 2 tlak abt financial shit but i just had to drop my ib math bc we cant pay for it š¬š¬š¬š¬#i love my brother but i hate him hes so fucking stupid !!!! hope we survive lmao my parents are cutting unnecessary expenses they still -#-havent paid my phone bill so i still dont have service dmnskdmskmfkdk#thsi why ive also been worrying abt uni shit bc like . i dont wanna waste our money doing somethng im not eben sure abt :((( n i rlly have#to work my fucking ass off#im rlly working for my freedom from this oppressive ass household but also to make my prentsā lives better esp my dad he doesnt deserve thi#anyways !!!#negativity for ts#tbd
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#im so. STUPID#i thought i moved on#but motherZufUCK#i had to clear up storage on my phone so i was in that thing in settings where it lets u delete media from conversations#and i found so much stuff from september and october when we talked everyday and did things all yhe time and when we were both so happy#like :/// we were SO GOOD it was so fucking crazy how good shit was#and got like this pang in my heart and now my chest feels heavy and i miss it. i miss him. i miss what we were.#and i just still cant believe how quickly things fell apart#i was a fucking FOOL and i still am for letting him have this much influence over my emotions#maybe thsi also has to do with the fact that he texted me 2 days ago reminding me āim always here for uā LMAO STOP IT#no ur not ur a liar#but i still fucking miss u. alot
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im really sad and upset and i brought this upon myself and i hate it so much and hhhhhhhhhhhhh
#irl.txt#this is SO text heavy im so sorry im literally just crying and spilling out my thoughts im sorry#this is just me being Emo ughguhg#u kno im so bad! with this moving on process ! bc im ok for DAYS but ukno i still. Think about It it never leaves me#but i can be okay! i wont cry i wont. dwell on it i dont Want it again#but. ugh today has been a set back because i woke up AGAIN thinking about. what happened. and her. and#i hate it. i hate it so much bc my brain Wouldnt stop thinking about it and so i started writing about it so it was thinking about it More#n then the entire day was wasted with thinking about Her and Us and What Happened And why did she leave me again ?? oh yeah bc im a piece of#shit and it was all my fault and she left me and i have No One and ill always have no one#and i found. UGH im literalyl doing this as punishment at this point and ik its! wrong to do this!#but i found my old google docs of. her. of when we were actually Together Together and i can Feel how in love i was and i fuKCING HATE IT#i hate how im never going to feel like that again i hate how im never going to have anyone again i hate how im thinking of her i hate how#shes taking over my life because of what. fucking. happened.#i hate knowing ! i hate thinking ! i hate wanting !#her her her thats all i think about her her her it never leaves me her her her i just want Her back#i just want her. fucking back.#and thats So emo to say thats so fucking emo to say like stop crying over a girl rip youve been crying over her for months#almost a year! u cant move on from her! bc u know that she was suppose to be with u ur entire life! bc she was ur soulmate! and ur never#going to find another person like her ripley ur so fucking stupid u Messed up ur entire life rip you did thsi u did this you fucking did thi#its not even because i loved her! she was my best friend! she was my best friend she was my best friend#yeha i loved her. i loved her i needed her ineeded her to function and i cant function and i cant . do this anymore!!!!!!!!#i just Want her back or at least . i want to fucking feel something again. but i cant move on and it sucks and i dont know what to do.
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i hate christmas so much and it's coming. everybody wont shut up about christmas and im so mad. christmas used to be so happy when i was younger like i believed in santa and all that shit and i was so happy and when i think of christmas it just makes me so upset that im growing older really fast and there is nothing i can do to stop it. im not a kid anymore. i dont think ill ever be happy again because i was only happy when i was a child. i was so happy and everybody's all superficial jolly around the holidays like shut up youre not happy or maybe everyone is and im the only one who wants to die. but like its all people talk about and the colours the red and green and being with my family they used to be so much fun they used to love me and care for me but now theyre... theyre just notlike that anymore like when i was smaller and i cried they would hug me and tell me its gonna be okay but a few weeks ago i was in my room crying when my mum came in and started yelling about how i need to regulate my emotions and then she took my phone which is like one of the only things that makes me less sad because its my communication with my friends and i cant not talk to anyone i hate being alone so much i need my phone what if someone calls me what if they needm y help whatif someoen even just calls to tell me they love me not like that would happen but what if? and then theres snow i used to love snow so much i would go out and make snow angels get all bundeled up but now when i go outside and its snowing i just want to bury myself in the snow wearing little clothing and get hypothermia and die. ive heard that's peaceful but of course everybody would have to pretend they care about me if im dead and i dont wanna do that to the people i love
sorry thsi is stupid and it doesnt make sense you dont have to publish this or answer it if you want i just typed out what's always in my head but yeah your blog's nice have a good day
i dont think this is stupid at all!! its really hard growing up. christmas is rly diffcult. im sorry that ur mom takes away ur phone and tells u to regulate ur emotions. crying is normal and healthy. i am so sorry </3 i hope one day christmas will be a happy time for u
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The Internet is for Porn || Moon Bros
Summary: Tae has some questions about porn.Ā
TW: talk of porn, but i mean this is very PG-13 peopleĀ
@moon-yeongtae
Tae: Hyung
Ā Jun: eh?
Ā Tae: I have a weird question to ask you
Ā Jun: when are you not asking me some kind of weird question?
Jun: what is it
Ā Tae: I tried looking it up on the internet but the internet is a weird place, hyung
Tae: um first of all you've probably had sex right
Ā Jun [deleted]: holy SHIT
Jun: what kind of question is that???
Ā Tae: look i have to talk about this sometime alright I'm not stupid but also our parents arent really sex talk enthusiasts
Tae: I'm a sheltered catholic school kid
Ā Jun [deleted]: what did i do to deserve thsi
Jun: what is your question tae yah
Ā Tae: is it likeĀ
Tae: idk exciting to think about?Ā
Tae: like is it normal to maybe not be that excited when you're sort of trying the normal things to /be/ excited?
Ā Jun: are you talking about watching porn
Ā Tae: maybe
Ā Jun: there are many types of porn out there. not all porn is made equal. if you find some porn not exciting, its probably bad porn
Jun: or it isntĀ
Jun: your tasteĀ
Jun: yah i cant believe you're making me type this
Ā Tae: I underestimated how embarrassing it would be to read you type porn
Ā Jun: you brought it on yourself
Ā Tae: um so basically I'm sort of doing it wrong then?
Tae: bc it's supposed to be nice
Ā Jun: you cant do porn wrong
Ā Tae: and not weird or embarrassing even just with myself
Ā Jun: its like finding something to watch on netflix not everything is going to be worth your time or something you will like
Jun: also stop watching porn
Jun: im your hyung and i am required to tell you that even if i know you wont listen
Ā Tae: well u watch porn
Ā Jun: i never said that
Ā Tae: u know an awful lot about it
Ā Jun: never said that eitherĀ
Jun: we are talking about you not me
Ā Tae: I just feel like I'm sort of broken
Ā Jun: you are not broken
Jun: if this has something to do with... ah i hate you
Jun: if you're having problems with erectile dysfunction, that's a medical issue and you should see a doctor WHO IS NOT ME
Jun: but more than likely you're just young, puberty is weird, hormones are weird, you're thinking too much about it
Ā Tae: yeah I'm probably thinking too much idk
Ā Jun: stop watching porn this problem goes away see
Jun: again i have to tell you that as your hyung
Ā Tae: I just...guys at school are always talking about girls and how they look naked and what noises they make which I dont think any of them have ever actually slept with a girl...maybe murdered a few idk
Ā Jun: lmfao
Ā Tae: but it's not appealing and that just makes me feels weird
Tae: bc sometimes I feel like I want to have sex obviously but at weird times or bc of weird things
Ā Jun [deleted]: seriously why is this happening to me
Jun: boys your age are always going to make up things like that to seem cool they're probably just mimicking bad porn
Jun: its good that you arent like them
Jun: i wasnt like them.
Jun: you should focus on your studies
Ā Tae: it doesnt feel like its good
Tae: what if
Tae: nvm
Ā Jun: are these boys your friends?
Jun: what are their names, nemo and what's the other one
Jun: they arent making fun of you are they?
Ā Tae: no they arent
Tae: they dont talk about sex that much
Tae: Cept nemo said he wanted to climb a boy like a tree once
Ā Jun [deleted]: aish fairiesĀ
Ā Tae: lmfao
Ā Jun: Well, maybe if you talk to your friends, people you trust, then you'll feel differently
Jun: you can have actual conversations instead of that locker room talk
Ā Tae: that's what I'm doing....
Ā Jun: Yes, but people who are in that same stage as you are
Jun: you know, puberty and hormones
Ā Tae: I cant talk to nemo about this
Tae: and I'm not going to talk to finn about sex he might faint
Ā Jun [deleted]: aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ā Tae: louie will tell me to go try it
Tae: he just jumps into stuff
Ā Jun: Why can't you talk to nemo then?
Jun: you two seem very close
Ā Tae: we are
Ā Jun: he is a good friend to you
Ā Tae: he is
Ā Jun: i mean i will.....................keep talking to you if you want
Ā Tae: thinking about talking about sex like this with nemo makes me want to vomit
Ā Jun: but you didn't like it when I typed porn, so
Jun: that seems very dramatic
Ā Tae: yeah well I'm a teenager
Tae: also ur literally so dramatic I wonder where I got it
Ā Jun: ah you punk watch it
Jun: Look, here is my best advice
Ā Tae: [deleted]: would u still love me if I liked boys?
Ā Jun: porn is very overwhelming at first. i'd suggest just relaxing and trying it without porn. Go slow, see what feels good. Use lube, that helps
Jun: There
Ā Tae: yeah ok
Tae: sorry hyung
Ā Jun [deleted]: you should be, this was very uncomfortable
Jun: no worries tae yah
Jun: You aren't broken. it's also okay if it isnt for you. Lots of things that we think are normal are not actually very normal. The human body is extremely complicated and no two bodies are alike. There's really no way to tell what is normal or not, and thats my professional opinion
Ā Tae: thank u
Ā Jun: just respect women, none of that rape fantasy trash, dont have sex with children and animals
Jun: ok
Ā Tae: got it
Ā Jun: good
Jun: you're a good kid, tae yah
Ā Tae: you're a good hyung
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#im so fuckign scared im going to do somrthing to hurt myself but i dont know how to aks for help#and mymom keeps comign in and its frekaing me out and im dwellign on how im no ones first hcoice and id be betetr off dead and i sliced my t#humb and it felt rly good and im os fuckign scaredi dont wanna cut again ii dont wanna do somrthign stupid and reckless and i dnot know what#tood o Ā was considerign messaging my fuckign abuser becasuse i dont know how to handle any of thsi btu besid shta being fucking stupud#and predicable as shit according to c-ptsd sources ahah#shes already fuckin? movied on and i cant believe im thta unimportant liek#im so fuckign sorry im so#i dont know whay to do
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